ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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