That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
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Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
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What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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