Buhtt sex?
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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