P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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