i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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