I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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