Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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