2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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