Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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