shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Come share oat with me in your robe
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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