so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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