all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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