Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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