I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize