It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize