dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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