At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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