you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize