i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
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You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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