She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize