So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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