you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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