She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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