Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize