Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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