what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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