Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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