I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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