she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize