You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize