But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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