Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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