Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize