I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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