It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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