Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize