she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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