I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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