In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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