what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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