well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
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I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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