He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
People in love make me want to vomit
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize