There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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