every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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