just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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