Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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