a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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