Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize