You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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