help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize